Right now I am having a crisis in my family. My younger sister has stage four bone cancer. She was diagnosed 4 years ago and had one of her breasts removed which is where the cancer was initially found. She has been through 6 sessions of chemo therapy and is currently in the middle of her 7th treatment. She went through radiation once and was burnt so bad that she refused to participate again. The doctors give her approximately 3 years to live. On Tuesday, she was admitted into the hospital and has been there ever since. She has pneumonia which resulted with fluids settling in her lungs. The doctors sedated her in order to put a scope in her lungs to see why she is having difficulty breathing and learned her lungs have cancer in them. The doctor has left her sedated in order for her to try and heal herself from the pneumonia. Their plan is to take the breathing tubes out on Friday and see if she can recover. My sister has relayed that she does not want to live her last days hooked up to machines. The family will respect her wishes and will not keep her connected to machines. We all hope that she recovers and is able to breath on her own. If she does recover, she will no longer go to her scheduled chemo therapy as it is not helping, according to her doctor. Out goal will be to try and provide her with the best quality of life until her time comes. This is what she wants. I accept what she wants and respect her decision. I feel powerless. As a social worker, I want to help but instead have decided not to cross those boundaries because this is what she wants. Even with the education and trainings that I have attended, it is difficult just sitting back and watching.

School was so much simpler when I was younger. Now that I am older and more mature it seems harder. I forgot how time consuming it was. even though I have been taking classes for the past 3 years. I was able to pick and choose how many I was taking. This semester seems out of control because of the number of classes i am attending. Even though I feel overwhelmed, I will succeed. I am resilient and have the desire to finish. Stress is so overtaking that sometimes I don't recognize when I am stressed. I need to learn to step back and "smell the roses." To me empowering other people is so rewarding in itself. I love to watch people move from the helplessness stage to being in power of their life. You can actually see the light bulb come on in a person when they realize they have power. Life is so funny and rewarding.

This is so frustrating. I have deadlines to meet, papers to write and presentations due and I can't seem to figure out how to post. This better work. STRESSED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Life is learning how to manage everything!

Here are my grandchildren with their dad's.

When I started this adventure of earning my degree in Social Work I didn't realize how time consuming it would be. The time it will take to complete my degree is going to get me down. I feel I have been in school already for some time and it will take another 3 years to complete my Bachelors degree and another 2 years after that to complete my Masters degree. My goal is to complete my Masters and I will. I like instant gratification and this is not instant. I will just keep plugging away when I feel down about it and remind myself the original reason I started this adventure which is ti help families and children. My role in my education will be an active role. I will be reading material that is not required to get a broader perspective of the field. I may even subscribe to journals in social work if they are not too expensive. Sometimes I will be just in it for the ride but not all the time. I plan to take control and be an active learner to better assist the families that need the help and try to change the system to make it better. I will be contributing in the distance learning process. I am glad this program is available to me and will take advantage of this opportunity to the fullest. I was never a traditional student in high school and this DL is just what I needed to further my education.  This Blogging is new to me and I still do not have the hang of it but I will given time.